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Freakin' Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else

Oh No She Didn't!

Is your tracksuit cool? Are you sure?

If you are wearing a track suit at this very moment and…You are J.Lo.  (Add 10 points.)

You are in the mob.  (Add 10 points.)

You are fitness-walking in the mall and you are over the age of 65.  (Add 3 points.)

The tracksuit is velour.  (Subtract 2 points.)

The tracksuit is pink velour with a word on the booty and you are older than seventeen.  (Subtract 375 points).

Want to know your score?  Read Clinton Kelly's book, "Oh No She Didn't!" Yes, the fine excerpt above is courtesy of the Clinton Kelly of TLC's "What Not To Wear." Kelly's fans will be pleased to learn that his books are even snarkier and wittier than his show. His blunt observations, wildly imaginative descriptions, and irreverent sense of humor create an irresistibly hilarious fashion commentary.

In the same vein, "Glamour's Big Book of Do's and Don'ts" exposes the worst sins in current American style through candid photographs of real-life fashion disasters. It's another highly entertaining yet informative read...perfect for a night on the couch when you want to unwind with something fun and sort of mindless.

Be prepared to redefine your opinion of "tacky!" And here's hoping that you are classier than I am and don't spot one of your outfits on these pages!


Amber C. Says: Freakin' Fabulous: How to Dress, Behave, Speak, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better Than Everyone Else
Amazon Says: Clinton Kelly won’t just revamp your wardrobe—he’ll revamp your life! The huddled masses yearn to be fabulous, and finally Clinton Kelly is heeding their call. As cohos more...
Amazon Says: Clinton Kelly won’t just revamp your wardrobe—he’ll revamp your life! The huddled masses yearn to be fabulous, and finally Clinton Kelly is heeding their call. As cohost of TLC’s popular What Not to Wear, he regularly transforms dumpy fashion disasters into traffic-stopping, get-an-instant-promotion, reignite-the-passion-in-that-relationship makeovers. But fabulousness doesn’t stop with style. Let’s face it: you might look good, but if you’re chomping on that crudité with your mouth wide open, nobody at the party will talk to you—even if you can explain to them what crudité actually is. Of course, the keys to being better than everyone else aren’t always so obvious. Don’t worry; Clinton’s here to help. - How do you make a flat butt look big and a big butt look flat? - What’s the one trick that will slim down your entire silhouette and make your ta-tas look va-va-voom? - How do you eat an oyster without getting kicked out of the best restaurant in town? - What’s the grammatically correct form of “lay” to use when propositioning someone? He’ll teach you how to look your best, sound your smartest, use the manners your momma taught you, poach an egg, fix a perfect gin and tonic, throw the most popular parties (and top the guest list at other soirees), make your home the envy of your neighbors, and generally be the fabulous person you always knew you could be. From the three style criteria he uses to dress any shape for any occasion, to his eloquent approach to appreciation, to his four must-memorize recipes for whipping up a last-minute meal, Clinton Kelly shares it all in Freakin’ Fabulous. less...
Amazon

Amber C. Says: Glamour's Big Book of Dos & Don'ts: Fashion Help for Every Woman
Amazon Says: It’s a Style Guide and a Guilty Pleasure! More Than 750 on-the-Street and Celebrity Dos & Don’ts 94 Illustrations Showing You How to Dress for Your Body Type 12 Amaz more...
Amazon Says: It’s a Style Guide and a Guilty Pleasure! More Than 750 on-the-Street and Celebrity Dos & Don’ts 94 Illustrations Showing You How to Dress for Your Body Type 12 Amazing Makeovers to Learn from Foolproof Advice on What to Wear—and What not to Great Style is Within Your Reach! Have you ever Worn pantyhose with open-toed shoes? Unintentionally flashed your boss with a too-low-cut dress? Realized, when exiting the pool, that your brand new swimsuit is totally see-through when wet? Otherwise committed a fashion slipup (or twenty)? Then you need this book! Finally! A what-to-wear guide for every situation, every budget, every body. Learn from 750 on-the-street photos, expert makeovers and advice from top fashion designers. There’s not a woman alive who hasn’t left the house wearing something regrettable, but Glamour is here to help. For 67 years, the magazine’s beloved Dos & Don’ts column has made for hilarious rubbernecking, teaching readers invaluable lessons in style along the way. Now you can find all that fashion wisdom in one place. Read on—you’ll never have a Don’t day again! less...
Amazon

Amber C. Says: Oh No She Didn't
Amazon Says: How NOT to dress. In Oh No She Didn't, Clinton points out the hundreds of fashion mistakes women most commonly make and shows you how to fix them. Muffin tops. Scrunchies. Su more...
Amazon Says: How NOT to dress. In Oh No She Didn't, Clinton points out the hundreds of fashion mistakes women most commonly make and shows you how to fix them. Muffin tops. Scrunchies. Suntan hose. Slut shoes. Visible panty line. Who hasn’t had the unfortunate experience of witnessing—or (gasp!) actually wearing—one of these fashion disasters? The atrocities Clinton Kelly has seen—it’s a surprise he hasn’t gouged out his own eyes. Mom jeans? Fancy fingernails? Tracksuits? In the same straight-talking style that has made TLC’s What Not to Wear a smash hit for eight seasons, the cheeky media personality and author of Freakin’ Fabulous shows women how to outfit themselves with confidence and style as he pokes fun at fashion "don’ts." From the most obvious faux pas (Texas tuxedos) to borderline offenses (peekaboo boobies), Clinton offers detailed and entertaining critiques of our top one hundred sartorial slip-ups. He turns his keen eye to wardrobe, color, cut, cleanliness, hairstyle, accessories, and even posture. And because he loves you, he presents easy alternatives and practical suggestions for creating fabulous outfits that will make you forget you ever wore socks with clogs. Clinton also explains how to use trends to your advantage at any age, from deciding which ones work for you to understanding how to wear them to keep your look relevant. Because if you’re not comfortable in the sequined mini, everyone around you will know it. A delightful mix of hilarious dish and expert fashion advice, Oh No She Didn’t will turn anyone from fashion victim to fashionista in no time. less...
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