- MK Davis
- Monday, January 29
Pronouns are the part of speech that refers to a noun without naming that noun. During primary education, we are all taught this simple grammatical truth. However, there are some important things that education often leaves out when it comes to pronouns and gender. Here’s some handy information and book recommendations to kickstart your journey to better understanding gender pronouns!
Pronoun Introductions
We are taught to assume which pronouns to use for people. For example, when someone appears to be male, we use “he” and when someone appears to be female we use “she.” A lot of the assumptions we make on a day-to-day basis turn out to be correct, but the truth is that not every assumption will be correct. For this reason, people can introduce themselves with their correct gender pronouns to combat incorrect assumptions or to normalize the practice of pronoun introductions.
Pronouns can be introduced verbally, through wearable pins, or in digital mediums such as email signatures or account bios. Take a moment to think about these types of pronoun introductions and if you’ve encountered them before. Has anyone given you their pronouns with their name upon first meeting? Has anyone you've known for a while told you they use a different pronoun than the one you've gotten used to using? Do your colleagues list their pronouns in their email signatures? Have you noticed a pronoun pin on their lanyard or near their name badge? It's not there for decoration! These are all ways to communicate which pronouns a person uses.
Beyond He and She
People can use pronouns other than he or she. These two binary pronouns leave much to be desired for some and fail to reflect the full spectrum of gender experiences and identities. An example of a pronoun that goes beyond he or she is the singular they. The singular they pronoun is frequently used when one does not know the gender of the subject being referred to. For example: “When did the mailman come? I didn’t even hear them arrive.”
This singular usage of they/them/theirs can be adopted by persons whose gender falls outside of the male-female gender binary, meaning people who do not exclusively identify as male or female. This pronoun can be used by itself or in combination with any other gender pronoun and it can be used irrespective of a person’s gender expression.
Throughout history and into the present day language continues to expand to accommodate for experiences that are excluded by binary language. This linguistic expansion has introduced a thing called neopronouns. While used less frequently, you may meet individuals who use these genderless pronouns. An example of a common neopronoun set is ze/hir/hirs. The title What's Your Pronoun by Dennis Baron discusses this topic in more detail.
Using the Correct Pronouns
Once you’ve been introduced to someone’s pronouns, you must use them consistently. It's not optional. Being called the wrong pronoun, also known as misgendering, can cause feelings of isolation and disrespect. It’s like being called the wrong name over and over. The good news is, even if you make a mistake, you can always correct yourself by saying the right pronoun and stating a brief apology that does not draw a large amount of attention to the person you misgendered or to yourself.
Learning More
There’s no harm in asking questions to educate yourself. However, the best first step is to research on your own, like reading this blog for example! To continue learning more about gender and pronouns, see the three titles below to help expand your knowledge of people and language.