The Anger Toolkit

Contents: Pt. 1. Get anger relief right away -- Stop blaming yourself -- Anger and its costs -- Act the opposite -- Take a good time-out -- Mindfully attend to your anger -- Replace negative thoughts with positive ones -- Breathing and relaxing in stressful situations -- Anger invitations -- Defuse a potential conflict -- Twenty-four-hour commitment to act calm -- pt. 2. Understanding your anger -- Your anger cues -- Physical sensations that go along with anger -- Thoughts that go along with anger -- Actions that go along with anger -- The short fuse problem -- Managing intensity by rating your anger -- Reacting too quickly or strongly -- Getting too angry to listen -- Becoming resentful -- Knowing your payoffs -- pt. 3. Getting unstuck from anger -- Avoding anger as a permanent condition -- Don't let anger drive the bus -- Identify the feelings underneath your anger -- Three strategies to cope with painful feelings -- Putting yourself in someone else's shoes -- Deep breathing -- Progressive muscle relaxation -- Using I-statements -- Fair-fighting guidelines -- Deep resentments and the need to forgive -- Anger-turned-inward and self-forgiveness challenges -- pt. 4. Being good to yourself -- TlC (tired, lonely, craving) issues -- Put a cork in the self-hating voice -- Find core qualities in yourself that you value -- Practice acceptance -- Nourish yourself -- Self-soothing skills -- Managing guilt -- Managing shame -- Practicing self-compassion.